Create Boundaries to protect your Mental and Physical Health at Work

Written by David Fallon, Founder of Themindfulparent.me

Back in 2009 I was admitted to the Cardiac Unit of Bristol's Royal Infirmary, in the UK. I had been working long hours, 7 days a week for several months for one of Europe's Largest Banks. Our company had 3 rounds of layoffs due to the Credit Crisis, my work load had doubled and I was also studying for a post graduate diploma. This, along with a toxic work environment were all contributing factors to my health crisis. This was the first time but unfortunately not the last time that I did not set any boundaries at work or for myself which had an adverse impact on my health.

Setting boundaries is crucial to your health and should be a part of your self care plan. Its saying no to something in order to say yes to your own physical, emotional and mental well-being.

Boundaries are assertive steps that YOU MUST take verbally and behaviorally to protect your mental and physical health.

Signs you need boundaries are that you feel overwhelmed, you feel resentful toward people for asking for your help and you feel burned-out.

Lack of Boundaries can cause Burnout is the following ways:

- Not knowing when or how to say no

- Prioritizing others over yourself

- Trying to be a Superhero ("I can do it all")

- Unrealistic Expectations

- Not being appreciated for what you do

Due to demographic changes, staffing shortages are going to be with us for a long time. It's important that you set boundaries so you are not expected to do the work of 2 or more people.

Below are some examples of what good Boundary setting at work look like

- Starting and finishing work on time

- Being consistent about taking your lunch break

- Being direct about conversations that distract you from work

- Not checking emails when on vacation

- Taking all of your vacation days

- Taking a sick day when your health requires it

- Informing your employer when your workload is too heavy

- Communicating clearly and assertively about turnaround times and deadlines for tasks or projects

- Respectful communication to and from coworkers and management

- When people raise their voice at you, tell them it's not ok

1. Identify which Boundaries need to be set

You can uncover these by turning into your feelings. What's causing you to stay later? What is it about your job that is leading you to feel overwhelmed and burned out? Spending some time in solitude to reflect on the issues that are causing you overwhelm can be helpful. Create some space for yourself and write down what are some of the boundaries that you need to put in place to protect your mental and physical health.

2. Give yourself permission to have boundaries at work.

Holding back on what you need will create resentment toward your coworkers and employer. You honor and respect other peoples boundaries, so you have nothing to feel guilty about when setting boundaries. Plus, It's essential part of self-care.

Don't let issues go too far before you decide to set boundaries. Start setting them right at the onset of possible issues.

3. Use Assertive Communication

Assertive Communication is essential when setting boundaries. Assertive communication means expressing your point of view in a way that is clear and direct, while still respecting others. Being assertive gives you the best chance of successfully delivering your message.

Assertiveness is the Goldilocks zone of communication, not too passive, not too aggressive, but just right. If you communicate in a way that's too passive or too aggressive, your message may get lost because people are too busy reacting to your delivery.

Communicate your boundaries in person is the preferred approach, if you are working remotely I would recommend Video Call with the person you need to set boundaries with.

Use 'I' statements.

Using I statements lets others know what you're thinking or feeling without sounding accusatory. For instance, say, "I can't work past 5pm due to personal commitments", "I need more assistance with my work load", "I'm not available for business calls on the weekend".

Rehearse what you want to say.

If it's challenging to say what you want or think, practice the scenarios you think may unfold. Say what you want to say out loud. Write it out first so you can practice from a script.

Use body language to show confidence

Communication isn't just verbal. Act confident even if you aren't feeling it. Keep an upright posture, but lean forward a bit. Make regular eye contact. Maintain a neutral or positive facial expression. Don't cross your arms or legs. Face the person.

Keep emotions in check

Conflict is hard for most people. Maybe you get angry or frustrated, or maybe you feel like crying. Although these feelings are typical, they can get in the way of resolving conflict. If you feel too emotional going into a situation, wait a bit if possible. Then work on remaining calm. Breathe slowly. Keep your voice even and firm.

Start small

At first, practice your new skills in situations that are low risk. Try out your assertiveness on a partner or friend before tackling a difficult situation at work. Ask for feedback to evaluate yourself and adjust your approach as needed.

Practice and be patient with yourself

Becoming consistent in assertive communication and setting boundaries can take time, especially if you've not had much practice in the past. Take courses in Assertive Communication, read books like Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High or Setting Boundaries by Nedra Glover Tawwab.

4. Make Boundary setting a habit.

The Ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes a part of your identity. It's one thing to say I'm the type of person who wants this. It's something very different to say I'm the type of person who is this.

- James Clear, Atomic Habits

When someone doesn't agree with or understand your boundaries, they may ignore you, push back or test your limits. No matter what, don't stop setting them. They're a way for you to set ground rules for yourself and others. Only with boundaries can you peacefully coexist with others.

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Thank you for reading and I hope you will start implementing some of the above recommendations into your weekly routine to protect your Mental and Physical Health.

Written by David Fallon, Founder of themindfulparent.me